It Takes A Great Effort!

At times homeschooling takes a great effort... on my part. In the year leading up to starting school, I just knew that Parker would be difficult. He has what we call a little "crazy" streak in him. He has ants in his pants. I knew I would have a hard time getting him to sit still and to stay focused and on task. I knew we would have battles and that he might actually hate school.

I was wrong. Parker has been an exceptional student and loves our school time.

It is Timothy. Timothy is the one who hates school. Who at some point in every school day cries. He says the work is hard and sits there refusing to do it. He plays with his pencil or his eraser, constantly twisting and turning in his seat. The thing is, he can do the work. A lot of times he know the answers before Parker. On the rare days when he puts forth focus and effort, he finishes his work before Parker and has good handwriting. The problem is those days are few and far between. It leaves him and me feeling aggravated and discouraged. I have prayed and cried over what I think is best for him. Should I put him in public school? Should I repeat kindergarten work with him so it will be easier next year?

I have always known that I wanted to homeschool our children. Public school has never been an option for us, from before they were born. To put them in public school would be disobedience to God since this is what I know He wants for our family and it would be me giving up not only on my self but Timothy also just because it is hard.

I have decided that it is okay for it to be hard and for some days to be really hard. I have decided to put forth the effort to not yell at him or get aggravated when it takes him three hours to do one hour of work. As emotionally draining as it is to do the right thing. I tell him over and over and over how smart he is and that I love him. When he starts to cry, I hug him and tell him it is okay to be sad but that I know he can do this work. And when he is done we celebrate and I remind him that I knew all along he could do it or I wouldn't have asked him to.

I pray that my great effort to love and encourage him and my great effort to not yell at him pays off. That with time he will develop confidence in school and learn to love learning. I pray that I am able to help him develop his strengths of creativity as he learns to write and draw. I know that if I continue to give this great effort my children will know what they need to know but each be able to grow in their own areas of interest and individuality. I am thankful to God that we are able to homeschool our children. It is a privilege and I don't
want to miss the small miracles and accomplishments of each day!

Blooming???

I love springtime! Everything is new and fresh. Things are coming alive, the colors are vibrant. Flowers are blooming. The air is fragrant. I wonder why my life can’ be like that all of the time...

Just like each year goes through seasons, I have come to the conclusion that my life goes through seasons. There are seasons like spring and summer with intense growth and vibrancy and then there are seasons like winter and fall where my growth is dormant. Oh, how I long for and hope for my life to be spring and summer all of the time, but the reality is, it is not. I have recently been in a dormant state. I have been busy and often overwhelmed with life and just doing stuff that I have not allowed myself to continue growing. I know without a shadow of a doubt what God wants from me but because of my dormant growth, I have produced nothing.

As I realize this, I am saddened that I have allowed myself into this state, but encouraged because after a plant has been dormant, when it awakens to the light and warmth of the sun it experienced extreme and rapid growth. This is my prayer... I want to awaken to the light and warmth of my Lord and experience extreme and rapid growth. I want to bloom, I want to produce the fruit that God has made me to produce. I think blooming for God is going to be exciting :-)

This is the kind of day I live for!

Today has been a great day! As a mom, this is the kind of day I live for! The kids have been wonderful; they have played so good together. They have been using their imagination. They have not been fighting at all. There has been no disobedience. No time outs, no yelling... from neither me nor the kids. We have played and cleaned and watched a movie. This is definitely a winner in the mom book!

Thank you Jesus for this day! I pray for my children to begin to understand that obedience and good behavior make for really good and fun days. Let me also understand that obedience to you leads to a peaceful life. Give me all that I need each day to be the mother and wife you would have me to be. It is a pleasure and a privilege to live for you! I love you Lord. Amen

Realizations!

Today we are finishing our 1st math book in homeschool. This year there have been good times and bad times. I realize that we have learned a lot this year. The boys can read, they can add and subtract single digits, they can somewhat tell time. They can write short sentences by themselves.  They get to learn where I know they are safe and protected from so many things that I am not ready for them to be exposed to.  The commitment for me is huge and I can't make a "forever" commitment for homeschool, but I am in for another year! 1st grade... Here we come!

What if Jesus was never born?

That was the questioned asked if church tonight... and I have never really thought about, until now that is (Thanks Jon). It is scary to think about the world and what things would be like if He had never been born. His impact on the world is so huge I can't even imagine it. But for me personally, the thought brings tears to my eyes...

I would probably be divorced, I would not have my children, I would not have the kind of friends that I do, I would not have peace, I would be searching for what is going to make me happy, seeking self-actualization (according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs). I really can't picture my life if Jesus hadn't been born and for that I am thankful. I am humbled by his gift of life and salvation as well as his blessings on our life. He gave so much/gives so much... others give so much and often my family receives the blessing. We don't deserve it, we haven't earned it, we don't give enough, at least I don't. Yet because he was born, I have life and peace and provision beyond what I can understand! Thank you Jesus :-)

Why is it thought that so many of us, and at times, myself included, live like Jesus was never born? Most of the world lives like that, many not believing in Him at all and worse than that, people that do claim to believe, going through life like Jesus was never born... Living for themselves, wanting more, getting more... I know people that live like that, whom I see searching to fill the void, the unhappiness with things, with relationships, with work, with food, with alcohol, with whatever. They never give Jesus a thought at least not until crisis strikes, and of course He is there.

If we live like Jesus was born and died for us, we would love more and give more and worship more and serve more. We would WANT to know Him, we would seek Him daily, we would appreciate His teachings, His miracles and His sacrifice. We wouldn't be who we are...

This Christmas I plan to reflect on how I live my life... Am I living like Jesus was never born or am I living like I have received the greatest most precious gift ever? How about you?

Merry Christmas!

Self-Sabotage

There are times when I wonder if I sabotage my own efforts.  I have been feeling very BLAH this week.  The wind is gone out my motivation sails :-(  This happens every time.  I have had good weight loss, I have not plateaued, but I don't seem to have the will power to keep going.  Part of me really wants this, and big part of me... but there is a small part (must be a strong small part) that just wants to keep eating what ever.  That is easy; that is pleasing to that small part.  I don't know why this happens and I don't know how to break this cycle.  I had committed to doing really well for the length of The Biggest Loser, but I don't even seem to have what it takes.  Really, I call that pathetic.  I know why I want to lose weight; I know why it is sooo important for me to be healthy.  But I don't know...

A Milestone

Today, I ran 5K for the 1st time ever!!! In 39 minutes :-) Up until last March, I had never ever even run 1 mile and now 3.1! I am registering to run a 5K race next Sat and I plan to run the entire race! That is huge in my inactive, non athletic world!