Spring Break

Wow! I have loved our home school spring break! Today was our last day. Tomorrow we have co-op and regular school on Friday.  Then next week the feel of our school year winding down is huge. We have a butterfly farm field trip on Tuesday and Field Day on Thursday.  We are beginning to finish books. Parker has finished he spelling for the year, Timothy is only a week or two away.  June will be here before we know it!

I am already looking ahead to next year and am very excited about what all I have planned. Looking forward to field trips and co-op and parties and friends. I realize that I LOVE the home school life.  My children are learning what they need to learn, are plenty socialized but are not getting the things that I don't want them to have at this point. I can say "Life Is Good" for the Duggins' family right now!

What Am I Gaining?

Every so often, I move into a selfish mode concerning our decision to homeschool.  Recently, I have begun to wonder what I have been missing.  The boys are almost 7 years old and Leanne almost 5 and I have never sent them to day care or preschool or even to school.  I have never known the freedom of part of my day being child-free for cleaning, grocery shopping or laundry. In this realization, I have been selfishly thinking about what I am missing.  The free time, the freedom from responsibility/burden of choosing to school our children at home, is that what I am missing?  Last week, I began to read a book on home-schooling. Thanks to this book, I have been reminded about what I am gaining.  I know my children better than anyone. (except Doug)  I see their excitement of learning. I know that I am responsible for their manners, their education, their responsibility. I can't pass that buck to the school system.

The free time I don't have is a trade off for my kids to hopefully not be influenced by their peers.  When I was reading the book 7 Tools for Cultivating Your Child's Potential by Zan Tyler I skipped directly to the end. She had written a chapter about her homeschool journey. She began homeschooling in SC in 1984 when it was illegal and almost went to jail as she fought the battle to the state supreme court. I am thankful for women like her who paved the way so that I can have the right and privilege to teach my children at home!  Also there were messages from each of her now grown children talking about being homeschool meant to them. These messages helped me look past the difficulty of day to day teaching and child rearing to realize that my time and effort and at time tears will be worth my children being best friends for life and the closeness that we will most likely share. I also realize the opportunities my children will have because I have made this choice. They will not have to conform to the mold of traditional education that has to meet everyone's needs. I can meet his/her needs right where they are and allow, even help foster them to bloom in areas that may not have even been available in traditional school. Books like Mrs. Tyler's are good to read every now and again to keep me focused and my eye on the big picture.

So, to answer my question... What Am I Gaining? A lifetime with my children!

All About Spelling

When you are homeschooling, picking out the right curriculum is really hard.  Every curriculum says that it is the best and we are left to discern whether or not it is. Last spring, I shopped for many hours for 1st grade curriculum. Language and spelling is one area that I made a bad choice.  In January, I scrapped what I had done the 1st semester and began frantically looking for something else. I came upon All About Spelling!

Let me 1st say that we all LOVE it! There are days where the boys argue about who gets to do their spelling first! How fun is that?  It is really teaching them to spell, not just memorize spelling words which I also love. They boys are learning if they can spell mat and cap, then there are a ton of other words that they also know how to spell!  This program uses visual, auditory and kinesthetic styles of learning, so it is good for most children. It is not consumable and I love that! I will not have to buy it for Leanne, what I use for Timothy and Parker, I just keep and use for her.

All About Spelling is almost an inclusive phonics program as well.  There are books that coincide with the spelling call All About Reading. These are delightful hard back books with beautiful penciled illustrations, with simple words and sentences.  These books are really helping Timothy's confidence in the area of reading.  I will never shop for another spelling program. We are currently in level 1, but there are 8 levels.

What made me try this is that there is a one year, money back guarantee. But I guarantee that you won't want to use it!

All About Spelling

Tim is spelling a word using the tiles      

This allows him to hear the sound and then see the letter using a technique called segmenting

He is doing 100% better with spelling and reading since starting this program 2 months ago.  Parker could read well before this, but his spelling has improved a great deal!

Timothy LOVES his all about reading book to go with the spelling program! He is very proud that he has now finished this book. He starts book 2 this week.

You Love Me Anyway - Sidewalk Prophets

On Friday night, the lyrics to a song I have heard probably a couple of hundred times spoke to me in a new way.  It doesn't matter what I do or what I have done, Jesus loves me anyway. He knew the struggles I would have and the mistakes that I would make. He knew that He would not always be first in my life.  He knew that there would come a time when I crave food more than I do Him. He knew that even though He worked a miracle in my life when He saved my marriage, I would still one day not look to Him first... But He Loves Me Anyway. 


"I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
And I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth-shaking ground
I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin my heart tried to bury your grace
Alone in the night I still call out to You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway
Oh God how You love me"


He knew everything I would do and He still went to the cross for me.  How can I even think I deserve anything? When He gave it all so that I could have the life I do. His love and grace are bigger than me. They are bigger than I can understand. If that isn't personal; if that doesn't convict me to walk away from the physical/emotional temptations that Satan has used to wedge a wall between me and Jesus, I don't know what can!

Made to Crave

I have people tell me all the time, they "don't know how I do it", call me "superwoman", etc.  As flattering as it should be; I realize that they don't have a clue to the inner me.  Sometimes I think I look like I have it all together because I do juggle a lot of hats and maintain them somewhat successfully, but also because I am as good as the next sister at putting on the front of "Look at me, see, I have got it all together!"  What most people do not know is that I have found myself at a difficult time of my life. Really, I don't enjoy much about life. I simply endure and persevere to the next day, trying to complete as much of my to-do list as I can then sleep and do it again tomorrow.  I feel so overwhelmed and multi-tasked that it is difficult, certainly rare, to enjoy even the small day to day things that I should enjoy, especially with Doug and the children... this is where I have discovered that food comes in...

I am reading a really great book right now called Made To Crave by Lysa Terkheurst.  This is actually a really difficult book for me.  This book focuses on my focus of food and why I turn to it rather than to God.  Talk about a stepping on my toes kind of read. Because of this book (I have only read about 5 chapters) I have discovered that I don't emotionally eat. I don't eat when I am sad or happy or upset.  I just eat... to eat. I enjoy it. When I eat yummy food, it is small bits of pleasure, maybe even enjoyment in my overly busy, unenjoyable life.  Now I know what the problem is, but I am finding it to be a very difficult problem to solve.

Made To Crave suggests that God created us to crave... HIM... not anything else.  To get rid of the unhealthy eating habits and craving, we have to get closer to Him. To get closer to Him we have to give up something that is permissible, but not necessarily beneficial with the sole purpose of getting closer to God.  Sounds easy enough, right? Not really, at least for me!  I have been struggling with my personal relationship with Jesus for some time now. In my busy, even exhausting life, I spend less and less time with Him. This has been progressive for several years now. I see it, I recognize it, but I have not changed it.  As much as I want to refocus and get back in touch with Jesus personally, I don't want to give up food, my tidbits of daily pleasure to do it!  There is my ah-ha moment. So here I am, confessing to whoever is reading this, that I want food as much, if not more than I want God right now.  I am praying that as I continue on the Made To Crave journey, I can overcome this sinful, selfish place. That I can embrace the idea of empowerment over deprivation so that for the first time in my adult life not be defeated by food and renew my relationship with Jesus without food in the middle!

I know that I am not alone in this battle, identifying the source of the problem is only the first step. Having the courage to tackle it is what will mold my character and show who (Jesus) I am really made of!

Homeschool Update

We have had a really good week of school this week. The kids have worked hard in school and really been trying to help out with chores. The boys have even recently learned to sweep! It is amazing to me at times how much the boys are learning or have learned, both in school and in life.  Parker is reading so well and I can not take the credit for that; it just comes naturally for him. Timothy has been working really hard and is doing so much better! If were not for him getting his vowel sounds mixed up at times, he would be well on his way. I am faithful that that day is coming!  Leanne is a mess. I teach her some, but not too much; she has plenty of school days in the years ahead so I don't push her too hard, but she is around and hears and sees what I am teaching the boys.  She wrote me a note this week sounding out the words as best as she can; it was so cute and she got the point across!

We had a great field trip to Mrs. Hanes' Moravian Cookie Factory in Clemmons, NC on Friday. This was a great trip. I was honestly a little surprised at how much fun we had and how yummy these handmade cookies are. One of the best parts of these trips is that this is one place we get to see other families.  After almost a school year in our local association, the kids have friends that they look forward to seeing. Yesterday, Timothy made a new friend. It was so cute, he couldn't remember his name, but he got his phone number and couldn't wait to call him!

As I talk to many of my homeschool friends, I sometimes wonder if I try to be too structured... But, I recently read in an encouraging book that I should not compare myself, my husband, my kids, my home, my homeschool to others. Doing this causes jealousy or feelings of inadequacy or even pride.  This is very difficult for me, if I don't compare, then how will I know how I am doing?  I should be using God as my judge for how I am doing? Have I asked God if He is pleased with my week?  Did my efforts meet His expectations? If I worry about raising and teaching for the Lord and not to compare with my friends, I will be a lot better off!

The Invisible Woman

Wow, last weekend was totally awesome! Approximately 120 women learning that being the "Invisible Woman" is not a bad thing. We were able to worship together for six hours. The music was amazing; we learned so much from the different speakers, and then there was the fellowship. Friends and strangers sitting at the table together talking about life, sharing what God was teaching them during this time.  Amazing!


When I actually found a minute to stop and look around, the rush, the hustle and bustle, the sleep deprivation had been so worth it!


Ladies, we are builders of great cathedrals in our families. We will not see our finished work, we are not building it so that we may live there, but if we build it well... God will live there. 


Today, when you are tired, you are aggravated, feeling worn down, remember, it is ok... even good to be invisible! 


1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."


Let's commit together to what we do, all day (and really everyday) for the Lord!

Summer School

As we are winding down our kindergarten year of school I am already thinking about summer and first grade. I want to continue teaching our kids and them to keep learning and not have to start off the year with a month of review before we can start new material. I also don't want them to resent homeschool either. Sunday at church they were talking about the end of school and summer time. Timothy and Parker were very vocal about being homeschooled and they have to keep having school in the summer time. At home they have been asking me why they don't get a summer break like the "big kids". I don't want them to resent our time or our schooling. I just need to change how we talk about summer school and make sure that we have plenty of fun too. I also want them to look forward to going back to school in the fall to start 1st grade. I have so many wants for our "school life" at times it seems like a mountain, but yet it is a mountain I want to continue to climb.

So, for this week, we will have some summer school on Friday. We will read together in the meantime. Next week, we will just have to wait and see. I think for summer, we will take it one week, maybe even one day at a time!

A Victory

Somedays I wonder how long I can homeschool. How long can I keep struggling with Tim. I pray and ask God to give me the strength and the words to say. When it was time to start school today, Timothy cried... he didn't want to do school, but of course that is not an option.

We first did the phonics and reading book... the one he seems to hate the most. It was a short lesson today and at the end, he wanted to do more and I told him he could. He did two more pages BECAUSE HE WANTED TO!!! Then handwriting was next. He had to do two pages. While I was reading with Parker, he did the two pages and then did four more pages... BECAUSE HE WANTED TO!!! He was soo excited to show me his extra work that he did and had done well. Today is a day to praise and thank God for the small things.

Honor God With Our Bodies!

1 Corinthians chapter 6 says, “ Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You don’t belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

There are many ways to honor God with our bodies.  One way our family chooses to honor God is by eating healthy, wholesome food. I am by no means saying we never eat fast food or junk, because we do. We just try really hard to do so in moderation. I try to make it a habit to cook real food out of real ingredients 3-5 times a week.  This leaves room for leftovers and for quicker “processed” meals.  I think it is our responsibility to take care of the bodies God has given us. Our bodies were bought at a high price when Jesus died on the cross and it is the least I can do to give my family real food with as little preservatives as possible.

Last night I made a quick homemade pizza. It took about 20 minutes of prep time and then 20-25 minutes of cooking time. This is no longer than it takes to order and have pizza delivered.

The crust:

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon white sugar

1 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
Mix the dry ingredients and the add the wet ingredients. Mix together and knead until well blended. Spread/roll out
on large pizza pan.  

I added a couple of tablespoons of Italian seasoning for flavor... yummy.

We then covered the pizza with jarred spaghetti sauce and our favorite toppings.  Cheese, ham, fresh pineapple, garlic, sliced tomatoes and baby spinach. Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes.

           

 The result, a yummy, filling semi-homemade pizza with less perservatives and stuff than your frozen or take out pizza. And, it was fun to make... just ask my kids :-)

It Takes A Great Effort!

At times homeschooling takes a great effort... on my part. In the year leading up to starting school, I just knew that Parker would be difficult. He has what we call a little "crazy" streak in him. He has ants in his pants. I knew I would have a hard time getting him to sit still and to stay focused and on task. I knew we would have battles and that he might actually hate school.

I was wrong. Parker has been an exceptional student and loves our school time.

It is Timothy. Timothy is the one who hates school. Who at some point in every school day cries. He says the work is hard and sits there refusing to do it. He plays with his pencil or his eraser, constantly twisting and turning in his seat. The thing is, he can do the work. A lot of times he know the answers before Parker. On the rare days when he puts forth focus and effort, he finishes his work before Parker and has good handwriting. The problem is those days are few and far between. It leaves him and me feeling aggravated and discouraged. I have prayed and cried over what I think is best for him. Should I put him in public school? Should I repeat kindergarten work with him so it will be easier next year?

I have always known that I wanted to homeschool our children. Public school has never been an option for us, from before they were born. To put them in public school would be disobedience to God since this is what I know He wants for our family and it would be me giving up not only on my self but Timothy also just because it is hard.

I have decided that it is okay for it to be hard and for some days to be really hard. I have decided to put forth the effort to not yell at him or get aggravated when it takes him three hours to do one hour of work. As emotionally draining as it is to do the right thing. I tell him over and over and over how smart he is and that I love him. When he starts to cry, I hug him and tell him it is okay to be sad but that I know he can do this work. And when he is done we celebrate and I remind him that I knew all along he could do it or I wouldn't have asked him to.

I pray that my great effort to love and encourage him and my great effort to not yell at him pays off. That with time he will develop confidence in school and learn to love learning. I pray that I am able to help him develop his strengths of creativity as he learns to write and draw. I know that if I continue to give this great effort my children will know what they need to know but each be able to grow in their own areas of interest and individuality. I am thankful to God that we are able to homeschool our children. It is a privilege and I don't
want to miss the small miracles and accomplishments of each day!

Blooming???

I love springtime! Everything is new and fresh. Things are coming alive, the colors are vibrant. Flowers are blooming. The air is fragrant. I wonder why my life can’ be like that all of the time...

Just like each year goes through seasons, I have come to the conclusion that my life goes through seasons. There are seasons like spring and summer with intense growth and vibrancy and then there are seasons like winter and fall where my growth is dormant. Oh, how I long for and hope for my life to be spring and summer all of the time, but the reality is, it is not. I have recently been in a dormant state. I have been busy and often overwhelmed with life and just doing stuff that I have not allowed myself to continue growing. I know without a shadow of a doubt what God wants from me but because of my dormant growth, I have produced nothing.

As I realize this, I am saddened that I have allowed myself into this state, but encouraged because after a plant has been dormant, when it awakens to the light and warmth of the sun it experienced extreme and rapid growth. This is my prayer... I want to awaken to the light and warmth of my Lord and experience extreme and rapid growth. I want to bloom, I want to produce the fruit that God has made me to produce. I think blooming for God is going to be exciting :-)

This is the kind of day I live for!

Today has been a great day! As a mom, this is the kind of day I live for! The kids have been wonderful; they have played so good together. They have been using their imagination. They have not been fighting at all. There has been no disobedience. No time outs, no yelling... from neither me nor the kids. We have played and cleaned and watched a movie. This is definitely a winner in the mom book!

Thank you Jesus for this day! I pray for my children to begin to understand that obedience and good behavior make for really good and fun days. Let me also understand that obedience to you leads to a peaceful life. Give me all that I need each day to be the mother and wife you would have me to be. It is a pleasure and a privilege to live for you! I love you Lord. Amen

Realizations!

Today we are finishing our 1st math book in homeschool. This year there have been good times and bad times. I realize that we have learned a lot this year. The boys can read, they can add and subtract single digits, they can somewhat tell time. They can write short sentences by themselves.  They get to learn where I know they are safe and protected from so many things that I am not ready for them to be exposed to.  The commitment for me is huge and I can't make a "forever" commitment for homeschool, but I am in for another year! 1st grade... Here we come!

What if Jesus was never born?

That was the questioned asked if church tonight... and I have never really thought about, until now that is (Thanks Jon). It is scary to think about the world and what things would be like if He had never been born. His impact on the world is so huge I can't even imagine it. But for me personally, the thought brings tears to my eyes...

I would probably be divorced, I would not have my children, I would not have the kind of friends that I do, I would not have peace, I would be searching for what is going to make me happy, seeking self-actualization (according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs). I really can't picture my life if Jesus hadn't been born and for that I am thankful. I am humbled by his gift of life and salvation as well as his blessings on our life. He gave so much/gives so much... others give so much and often my family receives the blessing. We don't deserve it, we haven't earned it, we don't give enough, at least I don't. Yet because he was born, I have life and peace and provision beyond what I can understand! Thank you Jesus :-)

Why is it thought that so many of us, and at times, myself included, live like Jesus was never born? Most of the world lives like that, many not believing in Him at all and worse than that, people that do claim to believe, going through life like Jesus was never born... Living for themselves, wanting more, getting more... I know people that live like that, whom I see searching to fill the void, the unhappiness with things, with relationships, with work, with food, with alcohol, with whatever. They never give Jesus a thought at least not until crisis strikes, and of course He is there.

If we live like Jesus was born and died for us, we would love more and give more and worship more and serve more. We would WANT to know Him, we would seek Him daily, we would appreciate His teachings, His miracles and His sacrifice. We wouldn't be who we are...

This Christmas I plan to reflect on how I live my life... Am I living like Jesus was never born or am I living like I have received the greatest most precious gift ever? How about you?

Merry Christmas!

Self-Sabotage

There are times when I wonder if I sabotage my own efforts.  I have been feeling very BLAH this week.  The wind is gone out my motivation sails :-(  This happens every time.  I have had good weight loss, I have not plateaued, but I don't seem to have the will power to keep going.  Part of me really wants this, and big part of me... but there is a small part (must be a strong small part) that just wants to keep eating what ever.  That is easy; that is pleasing to that small part.  I don't know why this happens and I don't know how to break this cycle.  I had committed to doing really well for the length of The Biggest Loser, but I don't even seem to have what it takes.  Really, I call that pathetic.  I know why I want to lose weight; I know why it is sooo important for me to be healthy.  But I don't know...

A Milestone

Today, I ran 5K for the 1st time ever!!! In 39 minutes :-) Up until last March, I had never ever even run 1 mile and now 3.1! I am registering to run a 5K race next Sat and I plan to run the entire race! That is huge in my inactive, non athletic world!

Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels

Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels

I have really been thinking about my goals for this weigh loss journey. That is really difficult to be specific. Of course I want to look better and feel better, but what are tangible goals to go with that?

1. To feel thin. I haven't "felt" thin in about 14 years or so. I want to wear stylish clothes and know that they look good. I want to see my collar bones when I look in the mirror.

2. To weigh 140 pounds or less.

3. Run a 10K (6.2) at 6.5 miles per hour

3. To know I am healthy with excellent blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, blood sugar etc. Have definition to my arms, legs and abs that come with being physically fit.

4. To not be self conscious in a bathing suit next summer

As I am working towards these goal, I am adopting a motto for myself. I have always liked the saying, but I am making it my personal weightloss motto! When I feel like binging or I am at my calorie allotment for the day and want something bad I will remember:

"Nothing Tastes As Good As Thin Feels"

To feel thin is my number 1 goal, that is for my personal satisfaction and will make the journey worth it. I know I shouldn't care as long as I am "healthy". But the fact is I do care and to someday feel thin again will make this difficult (at times) journey worth it!

Haggai

Haggai 1:3-9 says, "Then the word of the LORD came through the prophet Haggai: "Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?" Now this is what the LORD Almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but have harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it." This is what the LORD Almighty says: "Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build the house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored," says the LORD. "You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.""

Every time I read these verses, they blow me away.  I know that this is my biggest problem!  For me, I have struggled with contentment at various times of my life... you know, never being satisfied with what I have. Wanting more, wanting better. God is saying until you put me first, nothing else will be satisfying to you; nothing else will be good enough. Not your clothes, not your house, not your food, not your relationships... you will always be looking, searching for more, for better. Searching for peace, contentment, happiness.

Consider what would happen if we put God first. He would fill us up. We would not be filling our bodies with unnecessary food, filling our homes with junk hoping "it" would make us happy, we would not be looking at our relationships especially our marriages as hopeless and unsatisfying, turning our eyes to others or to other options like divorce to make us complete and at peace. God would make us complete and at peace. We need to quit trying to fix it ourselves and just look up... to Him!

I desperately want Jesus to be the center of my life... ALL OF MY LIFE, including what I eat.  Battling my food addiction is just one of the problems that could be solved if I spent more quality time with Jesus.  I am in prayer for contentment, relief of stress and the overwhelmed feeling that I have most days right now as well as self control with my eating, activity and my time.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  

I love this show!

I just finished watching the biggest loser

I LOVE this show! It makes me feel like I can do it... no not 10+ pounds in a week, not 4 hours a day in the gym, but making wiser choices, smaller portions and moderate exercise. I am moving my scale so I don't weigh again until next Tuesday morning! I would love to be down 3 or 4 pounds. I have small group to get through on Thursday night... such temptation with really bad food. I will make the wise choice (straight f/ Kid's Club), with God's help, but it's up to me!

Today I decreased my carbs... did not eliminate them. Ate less food, so I am sure less calories. Did not get to the Y, may not get there until saturday morning. My plan is to seriously train for a 5 K in 3.5 weeks. I can run 1.5 miles, time to double.

Praising God for a great day, asking God for self-control (the fruit of the spirit I lack the most) for tomorrow.

Breakfast: 1 egg, 1 egg white, 2 slices of low fat ham, 2 T shredded cheese
Lunch: 2 slices of ham, 2 slices of cheese
Snack: string cheese, fiber one bar
Dinner: black beans & corn, broccoli with cheese and dijon mustard sauce, turkey burger on wheat bun with slice of cheese and ketchup

Notes f/ today: too much cheese, no water!