You Love Me Anyway - Sidewalk Prophets

On Friday night, the lyrics to a song I have heard probably a couple of hundred times spoke to me in a new way.  It doesn't matter what I do or what I have done, Jesus loves me anyway. He knew the struggles I would have and the mistakes that I would make. He knew that He would not always be first in my life.  He knew that there would come a time when I crave food more than I do Him. He knew that even though He worked a miracle in my life when He saved my marriage, I would still one day not look to Him first... But He Loves Me Anyway. 


"I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
And I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth-shaking ground
I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin my heart tried to bury your grace
Alone in the night I still call out to You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway
Oh God how You love me"


He knew everything I would do and He still went to the cross for me.  How can I even think I deserve anything? When He gave it all so that I could have the life I do. His love and grace are bigger than me. They are bigger than I can understand. If that isn't personal; if that doesn't convict me to walk away from the physical/emotional temptations that Satan has used to wedge a wall between me and Jesus, I don't know what can!

Made to Crave

I have people tell me all the time, they "don't know how I do it", call me "superwoman", etc.  As flattering as it should be; I realize that they don't have a clue to the inner me.  Sometimes I think I look like I have it all together because I do juggle a lot of hats and maintain them somewhat successfully, but also because I am as good as the next sister at putting on the front of "Look at me, see, I have got it all together!"  What most people do not know is that I have found myself at a difficult time of my life. Really, I don't enjoy much about life. I simply endure and persevere to the next day, trying to complete as much of my to-do list as I can then sleep and do it again tomorrow.  I feel so overwhelmed and multi-tasked that it is difficult, certainly rare, to enjoy even the small day to day things that I should enjoy, especially with Doug and the children... this is where I have discovered that food comes in...

I am reading a really great book right now called Made To Crave by Lysa Terkheurst.  This is actually a really difficult book for me.  This book focuses on my focus of food and why I turn to it rather than to God.  Talk about a stepping on my toes kind of read. Because of this book (I have only read about 5 chapters) I have discovered that I don't emotionally eat. I don't eat when I am sad or happy or upset.  I just eat... to eat. I enjoy it. When I eat yummy food, it is small bits of pleasure, maybe even enjoyment in my overly busy, unenjoyable life.  Now I know what the problem is, but I am finding it to be a very difficult problem to solve.

Made To Crave suggests that God created us to crave... HIM... not anything else.  To get rid of the unhealthy eating habits and craving, we have to get closer to Him. To get closer to Him we have to give up something that is permissible, but not necessarily beneficial with the sole purpose of getting closer to God.  Sounds easy enough, right? Not really, at least for me!  I have been struggling with my personal relationship with Jesus for some time now. In my busy, even exhausting life, I spend less and less time with Him. This has been progressive for several years now. I see it, I recognize it, but I have not changed it.  As much as I want to refocus and get back in touch with Jesus personally, I don't want to give up food, my tidbits of daily pleasure to do it!  There is my ah-ha moment. So here I am, confessing to whoever is reading this, that I want food as much, if not more than I want God right now.  I am praying that as I continue on the Made To Crave journey, I can overcome this sinful, selfish place. That I can embrace the idea of empowerment over deprivation so that for the first time in my adult life not be defeated by food and renew my relationship with Jesus without food in the middle!

I know that I am not alone in this battle, identifying the source of the problem is only the first step. Having the courage to tackle it is what will mold my character and show who (Jesus) I am really made of!

Homeschool Update

We have had a really good week of school this week. The kids have worked hard in school and really been trying to help out with chores. The boys have even recently learned to sweep! It is amazing to me at times how much the boys are learning or have learned, both in school and in life.  Parker is reading so well and I can not take the credit for that; it just comes naturally for him. Timothy has been working really hard and is doing so much better! If were not for him getting his vowel sounds mixed up at times, he would be well on his way. I am faithful that that day is coming!  Leanne is a mess. I teach her some, but not too much; she has plenty of school days in the years ahead so I don't push her too hard, but she is around and hears and sees what I am teaching the boys.  She wrote me a note this week sounding out the words as best as she can; it was so cute and she got the point across!

We had a great field trip to Mrs. Hanes' Moravian Cookie Factory in Clemmons, NC on Friday. This was a great trip. I was honestly a little surprised at how much fun we had and how yummy these handmade cookies are. One of the best parts of these trips is that this is one place we get to see other families.  After almost a school year in our local association, the kids have friends that they look forward to seeing. Yesterday, Timothy made a new friend. It was so cute, he couldn't remember his name, but he got his phone number and couldn't wait to call him!

As I talk to many of my homeschool friends, I sometimes wonder if I try to be too structured... But, I recently read in an encouraging book that I should not compare myself, my husband, my kids, my home, my homeschool to others. Doing this causes jealousy or feelings of inadequacy or even pride.  This is very difficult for me, if I don't compare, then how will I know how I am doing?  I should be using God as my judge for how I am doing? Have I asked God if He is pleased with my week?  Did my efforts meet His expectations? If I worry about raising and teaching for the Lord and not to compare with my friends, I will be a lot better off!

The Invisible Woman

Wow, last weekend was totally awesome! Approximately 120 women learning that being the "Invisible Woman" is not a bad thing. We were able to worship together for six hours. The music was amazing; we learned so much from the different speakers, and then there was the fellowship. Friends and strangers sitting at the table together talking about life, sharing what God was teaching them during this time.  Amazing!


When I actually found a minute to stop and look around, the rush, the hustle and bustle, the sleep deprivation had been so worth it!


Ladies, we are builders of great cathedrals in our families. We will not see our finished work, we are not building it so that we may live there, but if we build it well... God will live there. 


Today, when you are tired, you are aggravated, feeling worn down, remember, it is ok... even good to be invisible! 


1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."


Let's commit together to what we do, all day (and really everyday) for the Lord!

Summer School

As we are winding down our kindergarten year of school I am already thinking about summer and first grade. I want to continue teaching our kids and them to keep learning and not have to start off the year with a month of review before we can start new material. I also don't want them to resent homeschool either. Sunday at church they were talking about the end of school and summer time. Timothy and Parker were very vocal about being homeschooled and they have to keep having school in the summer time. At home they have been asking me why they don't get a summer break like the "big kids". I don't want them to resent our time or our schooling. I just need to change how we talk about summer school and make sure that we have plenty of fun too. I also want them to look forward to going back to school in the fall to start 1st grade. I have so many wants for our "school life" at times it seems like a mountain, but yet it is a mountain I want to continue to climb.

So, for this week, we will have some summer school on Friday. We will read together in the meantime. Next week, we will just have to wait and see. I think for summer, we will take it one week, maybe even one day at a time!

A Victory

Somedays I wonder how long I can homeschool. How long can I keep struggling with Tim. I pray and ask God to give me the strength and the words to say. When it was time to start school today, Timothy cried... he didn't want to do school, but of course that is not an option.

We first did the phonics and reading book... the one he seems to hate the most. It was a short lesson today and at the end, he wanted to do more and I told him he could. He did two more pages BECAUSE HE WANTED TO!!! Then handwriting was next. He had to do two pages. While I was reading with Parker, he did the two pages and then did four more pages... BECAUSE HE WANTED TO!!! He was soo excited to show me his extra work that he did and had done well. Today is a day to praise and thank God for the small things.

Honor God With Our Bodies!

1 Corinthians chapter 6 says, “ Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You don’t belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

There are many ways to honor God with our bodies.  One way our family chooses to honor God is by eating healthy, wholesome food. I am by no means saying we never eat fast food or junk, because we do. We just try really hard to do so in moderation. I try to make it a habit to cook real food out of real ingredients 3-5 times a week.  This leaves room for leftovers and for quicker “processed” meals.  I think it is our responsibility to take care of the bodies God has given us. Our bodies were bought at a high price when Jesus died on the cross and it is the least I can do to give my family real food with as little preservatives as possible.

Last night I made a quick homemade pizza. It took about 20 minutes of prep time and then 20-25 minutes of cooking time. This is no longer than it takes to order and have pizza delivered.

The crust:

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon white sugar

1 cup warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
Mix the dry ingredients and the add the wet ingredients. Mix together and knead until well blended. Spread/roll out
on large pizza pan.  

I added a couple of tablespoons of Italian seasoning for flavor... yummy.

We then covered the pizza with jarred spaghetti sauce and our favorite toppings.  Cheese, ham, fresh pineapple, garlic, sliced tomatoes and baby spinach. Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes.

           

 The result, a yummy, filling semi-homemade pizza with less perservatives and stuff than your frozen or take out pizza. And, it was fun to make... just ask my kids :-)