I am on my own little faith journey. In the past couple of months, I have learned a lot about myself and what I really believe in comparison to what I thought I believed. I have always believed in God and have never questioned His existence, I have always loved God but I don’t think I have ever been in love with God. Because of this I have never had that REAL, ALIVE, PERSONAL relationship with Him. Until recently, I thought that I did... I have read the Bible and studied, I have prayed and I consider Him in major decisions. Truthfully though, I have never really considered Him as my most cherished relationship. I am really almost ashamed to say that out loud (or write in a blog). This is something that I have been actively praying for for just over a month now. In the past two months I have heard three people talk about this type of relationship and try to describe what this relationship is like to them. I realized that what they were describing, I do not have. I believe this relationship is possible and I am truly fascinated by it; I am in fact intrigued by it. I have wondered how I can feel like God wants to use me to write material for other women when I myself don’t have this relationship. I have had to search my heart over this one... In a some recent study time I came across developed a love for Isaiah 42:16 and 43:2-3. These are the verses I am hanging on to. They are the backbone for me as I search for and seek a relationship with God like I have never had.
Isaiah 43:2-3 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
Who else can make promises like that? Who else loves me like that? Why would I not want an intimate relationship with the One who is always with me and will protect me? I want to really love the Lord with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength. I want that love to fill me up to the point of overflowing. I want that love to be all that I need, where I don’t look to anything or anyone else for comfort. My Lord, My God, My Savior is with me and loves me and wants me to trust Him beyond any way that I have trusted Him so far. I feel it in my soul... maybe that is the beginning of that intimate, alive, personal relationship that I am seeking!
Isaiah 42:16 says, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”
I am blind because I do not know where God is leading me, my path is unfamiliar, but He is guiding me. He will turn the dark and unknown into light and He will make the rough places smooth. He will not leave me. This is so comforting as I continue down the path of writing Bible studies for women. I am so unqualified and unworthy! I do not know where the path will lead, but God has told me what He will do and that He will not leave me, so I need to continue on safe and confident in His love!
To realize and admit how lacking my realtionship with God is is a little unsettling, but I realize that I should never be still; I should always be growing and growing I am. I call this my little faith journey, but I think that really my entire life is a faith journey... this is just another step on the journey to bring me closer to Him!
